And once again I find myself making a stand for the LGBT rights. I don’t know why though, maybe because I know a lot of “closet” people.
You see, my dear reader, I got a lot of praises from my LGBT friends for my blog, “Build a bridge, and get over it.” I received a lot of comments from, “straight” people telling me off and from LGBT people to keep it up. They keep asking if I was a lesbian or if I have ever dated a lesbian or a gay guy before. Well, here’s my answer, no, I haven’t. But if I ever fell in love on either of them in the future, I wouldn’t be ashamed of it.
Now, back to the “closet” people. I overheard (while I was riding the LRT) a guy and his gay companion talking, I didn’t intend to eavesdrop in their conversation because it’s very cheesy (haha!) but I couldn’t help it because I was sitting next to them. The gay guy was leaning on the shoulders of his guy boyfriend when somebody mentioned the GAY’s name! (you see where this is going now?)
You may ask, How do I know that it’s the gay guy’s name, it’s because I felt him twitch and pushed his boyfriend to the side and straightened up his clothes like calling out his name was the cue. I looked around from where the “calling voice” came from and sure enough, there was a guy in a police uniform whose face is very red, I suppose, in anger.
The gay guy stood up and ran away to — I think — to the other end of the train (I always board the LRT on the rear side for easy alighting) and the guy, wearing the police uniform just stood there looking, apparently, at the guy the gay guy was just with. Nothing happened though, both of them (the guy the gay guy was with and the guy wearing the police uniform) just stared at each other until I’ve reached my destination and alighted the train ahead of them.
A related story…
I suddenly remembered my friend back in high school. I always bring band aid’s, Betadine and alcohol to school because my friend’s body, although I can’t or wouldn’t understand it, is covered in bruises almost every day! He keeps telling me to not talk about it and would every time ignore my plea to him to at least tell someone other than us, his friends, about the matter. I also told him about the DSWD! But no, he wouldn’t listen, he’d rather get hurt everyday for a thing he never expected to be, a gay.
He told me that he discovered that he’s gay in a children’s party when we were all still in elementary, and being in a family of ten (he was the 3rd of the seven brothers) no one ever suspected that he’d be gay. Their family found out about that issue when we were in high school, someone accidentally texted him about the cute guy he and his girl friend’s were eyeing that time. Since then, he was beaten by his brother’s and do some other things to him that I don’t dare mention here.
It was horrible, I was only listening to him telling me the story as I attend to his bruises and I can really feel the pain he felt. Although, I’m sure that what he felt was much much worse than my imagination because he was the one who took all the beating. There was also a scenario when we were in high school that some of our classmates called him “polkadots,” I hated those bastards, but not after they found out the reason why and they started to treat him better.
My friend dropped-out of school when we finished our first year. I never had any connection with him since then. But wherever he is, I hope he’s not covered in bruises anymore, he’s not being beaten by anyone anymore or being singled out in a crowd because of his preferred gender-orientation.
To the “closet people…
I can’t blame you if you are not showing who you truly are to some people, but I just want to remind you, the truth always come out eventually. If not today, then maybe when you least expect it. So start thinking about how to tell those persons the truth. Who knows, maybe they’d understand you. You can’t blame them though if they don’t understand your situation immediately, but don’t worry, I assure you, they will. In time, those people definitely will (unless, you doubt how they feel about you.)
I am sure, the people who doesn’t know who you truly are, are people you most cared about. You are afraid to be ignored and hated by those people that’s why you wouldn’t tell them something that you think would definitely ignite your worst nightmares. But think about it, these are the people who you want to be honest to, right? You wouldn’t want to lie to them just so they’ll like you.
Also, I can totally understand why you don’t want to just, as they say, “out with it.” Because of your PERSONAL reasons. I just hope that you aren’t over-stressing yourselves. Closet people tend to worry by themselves and are usually not confiding to anyone about their life. They’re the exact definition of the status, “it’s complicated.”
Find a friend. That’s my final words for you guys. You have to have someone you can tell your problems to. I hope the best for you guys. Don’t forget that it has never been your fault for feeling the way you feel, this is OUR generation and WE ARE NOT GOING TO JUDGE YOU.
*By the way, someone told me about this very cool web site It’s an advocacy project, I pledged, will you? (click here).